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    30/03/2006

    情 是 一 场 受 凉

    终于还是记不起什么时候第一次听到"爱"这个字,只记得最初听见它,会脸红心跳,不安到四处张望。


        我还能记得那些为追寻爱情所做的荒唐事。真的,我还清楚的记得,我跟室友央求了许久,把那个喜欢的男孩的头像从一大群陌生人的合影里剪了下来。


        而我最终还是不知道什么时候把它掉落了。就像日子里的兜兜转转,本来想记住的,后来发现原来根本不值得一提。


        只是,我依然怀念那些有激情等待、寻找、成全爱的时光。


        那是一段奇怪的旅程。


        或许正是应和了某首歌流行的时期,或是某种花盛放的季节。旅程结束,能想起的就只剩那首歌里很熟悉的某个音阶,或者某种花的香味。


        其他的,都变得模糊异常。


        从前,我很担心自己的自以为是。感觉不是体温计,没有明确标识。告诉自己:没事,以后就好了;


        以后,看的眼花缭乱,听的扑朔迷离,完全迷失了方向。告诉自己:没事,过段时间就好了;


        过段时间……


        再过段时间……


        后来,以为一切尽在掌握,却发现事与愿违。越想看清楚的,越难看透。越想走近的,离的越远。


        原来,很多时候,我们都是自己在骗自己。

     
        我们都是胆小的人。可是,偏巧我们又都喜欢让自己经历悲惨--寒冷深夜的思念蔓延;急速行走的陌生穿梭;还是,毅然决然的委屈再见。


        光天化日之下,我们俨然变得壮烈。


        我们又是极健忘的人。我们常常在为别人的故事唏嘘感叹之后,又重演着相似的故事,义无反顾。


        翻箱倒柜,我们终于找了许多借口,让自己理所应当地错过幸福。

     
        认同小意的一句话:我小心翼翼地缩在自己的角落里,渴望着新鲜空气,却又担心受凉。


        爱情原本就是一场受凉。

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    爱真的是一场受凉
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